Earthquake in Ontario

[Jon Skagfeld]

Originally posted by Bruce Parker
Foriegn Affairs Canada policy in Briefing Statement PL-12G/2004 (Provisional) clearly states in Article 124.3(b)(xviii):

Assistance of the Canadian government to disaster areas in foreign locals shall be forthcoming if such assistance will promote the values, interests and future election prospects of the Sole Canadian Ruling Pary ("SCRP", which is defined in Appendix H and the Liberal Party of Canada) and it's heirs, successors and faithful friends.

and in Article 768.9(s) that:

Assistance will be provided to disaster areas as defined in this Briefing Statement, and shall in no circumstances be provided to walking disasters.

So, there it is Jon, you don't qualify.

Bruce:

This is totally unacceptable.

I shall appeal directly to the UN Secretary General, Kofni Anan, a man of inestimable fortitude and compassion, for direct assistance.

I am particularly disturbed by the passing tremor having traumatized my trees to the extent that they have shed their leaves due, no doubt, to this catastrophic occurrence.

Indeed, my lawn has turned from its usual verdant colour to a sickly yellow. Immediate assistance is required.

Monetary aid in the form of rupees, dongs, dinars, bahts, AUDs, DMs, yen, yang, sing, song, whatever gratefully received and your cheque will be quickly processed to my off shore account.

Praise be to Allah, most merciful and compassionate. Saudi riyals from King Abdullah's slush fund would be especially well received.

Boukhara, in'shallah!