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  #1  
Old 29-01-12, 20:37
Alex Blair (RIP) Alex Blair (RIP) is offline
"Mr. Manual", sadly no longer with us
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Ottawa ,Canada
Posts: 2,916
Default A,B,C's

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K




After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her for a while...then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks..... "What does that mean?"

He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.

She smiled happily and said.. "Oh, that's so lovely.. What about I, J, K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.
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  #2  
Old 30-01-12, 09:09
Howard's Avatar
Howard Howard is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Ganmain, Australia
Posts: 1,438
Smile Joooliar

This one has been doing the rounds for a while...

Quote:
Julia Gillard (Australian Prime Minister) goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get a little PR.
After her talk she offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and she asks him his name.
" Stanley ," responds the little boy.
"And what is your question, Stanley ?"
"I have 4 questions:
Why did you bring in a carbon tax when Australians didn't vote for it?
Second, why are you Prime minister when the Liberal Party got more votes?
Third, weren't you a communist at university?
Fourth, why are you so worried about gay-marriage when you said you're a lesbian
Just then, the bell rings for recess. Julia informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume Julia says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that 's right: question time. Who has a question?"
Another little boy puts up his hand. Julia points him out and asks him his name.
"Steve," he responds.
"And what is your question, Steve?"
Actually, I have 6 questions.
Why did you bring in a carbon tax when Australians didn't vote for it?
Why are you Prime minister when Tony Abbott got more votes?
Third, weren't you a communist at university?
Fourth, why are you so worried about gay-marriage when you are obviously a lesbian?
Fifth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
And sixth, what the f**k happened to Stanley ?"
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  #3  
Old 30-01-12, 18:52
Hanno Spoelstra's Avatar
Hanno Spoelstra Hanno Spoelstra is offline
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Location: The Netherlands
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Howard View Post
This one has been doing the rounds for a while...
"Yeah, right". Aussie copycat of this one here!

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  #4  
Old 31-01-12, 09:04
Howard's Avatar
Howard Howard is offline
"Sid and Errol's Dad"
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Ganmain, Australia
Posts: 1,438
Talking

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hanno Spoelstra View Post
"Yeah, right". Aussie copycat of this one here!
And posted by the same wanker!
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  #5  
Old 31-01-12, 13:12
Hanno Spoelstra's Avatar
Hanno Spoelstra Hanno Spoelstra is offline
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Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 14,867
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Howard View Post
And posted by the same wanker!
It did sound familiar, didn't it?!?

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  #6  
Old 31-01-12, 17:49
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cliff cliff is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Gympie, Queensland, Australia
Posts: 3,108
Talking

Quote:
Originally Posted by Howard View Post
And posted by the same wanker!
WHAT! you have them down there too Howard? I thought all of those were members of the Queensland Government!
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aka MrRoo S.I.R.

"and on the 8th day he made trucks so that man, made on the 7th day, had shelter when woman threw him out for the night"
MrRoo says "TRUCKS ROOLE"
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  #7  
Old 31-01-12, 22:24
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Darrell Zinck Darrell Zinck is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: New Brunswick
Posts: 867
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Gotten from a co-worker who was on exchange in NZ during the earthquake:

Quote:
Kiwi Language Training – Travelers Vocabulary

Milburn - Capital of Australia
Ear Robucks - fast paced exercise
Peck - to fill a suitcase
Duffy cult - not easy
Pissed aside - a chemical that kills insects
Amejan - visualize
Pigs - for hanging out washing with
Chuck - very young poultry
Pug - large pink animal with curly
Bun Button - bitten by an insect
Nin tin dough - computer game
Beard - a place to sleep
Munner Stroney - soup
Sucks peck - half a dozen beer
Min - male of the species
Ear New Zuland - an extinct airline
Mess Kara - eye make up
Beers - large black animals in Canada
McKennock - person who fixes cars
Veerjun - mythical new Zealand maiden
Mere - Mayo
One Doze - well known computer program
Leather - foam produced from soap
Brudge - structure spanning a stream
Lift - departed
Sex - one less than sivven
Kittle crusps - potato chips
Tin - one more than noine
Jungle Bills - Christmas Carol
Iggs ecktly - precisely
Inner me - enemy
Cuds - children or baby goats
Guess - vapour
Sivven Sucks Sivven - large Boeing aircraft
Fush - marine creatures
Sivven Four Sivven - larger Boeing aircraft
Fitter cheney - pasta dish
Earplane - flying machine
Ever cardeau - avocado
Beggege Chucken- place to leave your luggage at the earport
Fear hear - blonde
Ear - mix of nitrogen and oxygen

Coffee: A double – double does not exist. Ask for a Flat White
Tipping is not required. It is included in the price of a restaurant meal.

regards
Darrell
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  #8  
Old 01-02-12, 06:04
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Ken Hughes Ken Hughes is offline
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Location: Dunedin New Zealand
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HMMMM i will have to keep an eye on you Darrell,from a nu zilander!!HaHaHaHa,it really was funny
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