Some Funnies

[Ganmain Tony]

A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When
> I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.....
>
> I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I
> was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a
> coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought
> to myself, they've lost the plot!!
>
> I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could
> check her balance, so I pushed her over.
>
> My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our
> local pet shop and they were $100!!! Bollocks to this, I thought, I can
> get one cheaper off the web.
>
> Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
>
> Saw my mate outside the Doctor's today looking really worried.
> "What's the matter?" I asked.
> "I've got the big C,"he said.
> "What, cancer?"
> "No, dyslexia."
>
> I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea
> move.
>
> I was driving this morning when I saw an NRMA van parked up. The driver
> was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to
> myself 'that guy's heading for a breakdown'.
>
> On holiday recently in Spain I saw a sign that said 'English speaking
> doctor' - I thought, 'What a good idea, why don't we have them in our
> country?'