Some Funnies

[Brian Gough]

The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semi-finalists, a
Yale graduate, and a Newfoundlander.

They were given a single word, then allowed two minutes to come up
with a poem that contained the word; ' TIMBUKTU '.

The Yale graduate stepped to the microphone and said:

' SLOWLY ACROSS THE DESERT SAND
TREKKED A LONELY CARAVAN.
MEN ON CAMELS, TWO BY TWO
DESTINATION - TIMBUKTU '.

The crowd went crazy! No way could the Newfie top that, they
thought.

The Newfoundlander calmly made his way to the microphone
and recited:

' ME AND TIM A HUNTIN' WENT,
MET T'REE WHORES IN A POP-UP TENT.
DEY WAS T'REE, AND WE WAS TWO,
SO I BUCKED ONE, AND TIMBUKTU. '

The Newfie won hands down.


Brian [/B][/B]

[Alex Blair (RIP)]

SHORT LOVE STORY

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,.......... 'Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket?

I'm awfully cold.'

'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight,...... let's pretend that we're married.'

'Wow!...................... That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.

'Good,' she replied. .............'Get your own fuc*ing blanket.'

After a moment of silence, ......................he farted.

[Hanno Spoelstra]

Leather Dresses (And Why Guys Like Them)
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Did You Know This About Leather Dresses?
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Do you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak in the knees, and he begins to think totally irrationally.
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Ever stop to wonder why?
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Well
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It's because she smells like a new car!!!
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[Hanno Spoelstra]

Cheeky WW2 cartoon.

So what do you guys like best? A leather dress or body paint?!?!?

[hrpearce]

one vote for body paint

[Alex Blair (RIP)]

Paddy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers.

She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in.
She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says, 'This is for the flowers!'
'Don't be silly,' says Paddy, 'You must have a vase somewhere!'

[Keith Webb]

It seemed when I was in Canada I was the only one who could correctly pronounce Geoff's name but somehow they misheard me and thought I was calling him "Jif".

Maybe this is why.



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