Some Funnies

[Howard]

A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a Virgin".
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be."
"Husband # 2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back to me."
"Husband # 3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up."
"Husband # 4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver."
"Husband # 5 was an Engineer, he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state of the-art method."
"Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not."
"Husband # 7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it..."
"Husband # 8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it."
"Husband # 9 was a Gynaecologist; all he did was look at it."
"Husband # 10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was lick it..... (God I miss him)."
"But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".
"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why?"
"You're with the Gillard Government, this time I KNOW I'm gonna get screwed."