Editorial Comment on Warfighting... :-)

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

Received via email....

If I could, I'd enlist today and help my country track down those
responsible for killing thousands of innocent people in New York City
and Washington, D.C. But, I'm over 70 now and the Armed Forces say I'm
too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the
military. They've got the whole thing backwards.

Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old
guys. You shouldn't be able to join until you're at least 35. For
starters:

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys
only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than
28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier
is a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them
into submission. "My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote
control?"

An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war
until you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old guy,
on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's
35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60 would do
wonders for the old beer belly.

An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys get up
early (to pee). If old guys are captured we couldn't spill the beans
because we'd probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and
serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys. We're used to getting
screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We've also
developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles. We like them almost
better than naps. They could lighten up on the obstacle course, however.
I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope
hanging over the side , nor did I ever do any pushups after training. I
can hear the Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give me...er...one." And
the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen anyone
outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to
shave. To actually carry on a conversation. To wear pants without the
top of the butt crack showing and the boxer shorts sticking out. To
learn that a pierced tongue catches food particles. And that a 200-watt
speaker in the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum. All
great reasons to keep our sons at home and to learn a little more about
life before sending them off to a possible death.

Let us old guys track down those dirty, rotten cowards who attacked our
hearts on September 11. The last thing the enemy would want to see right
now is a couple of million old farts with attitudes.

-- Author Unknown

[Dwight Pruitt]

Damn straight Geoff. If they'd just let me bring my diabetes Meds......

[Snowtractor]

...I want to bring my own pillow, I found the maids left crappy pillows for us when we were in Barracks...
Sean