MA YAPPY's COOKIN' THREAD!

Hey you guys, I'm thinking about food today and wondering what your favorite meals/recipes are? Vegemite, Spam, and front line foods and recipes, or "rationing time recipes" allowed in order to keep this sorta-kinda on MLU-Topic

I personally find that my favorite comfort foods are very plain and simply cooked:
(surprize... NOT chocolate!)

1) Potatoes
2) Beans
3) Pork (I'd make a lousy Muslim) I LOVE the crispy fat and hate when it's sold with the fat cut off. Those butchers should be shot for that :

(I also like tripe and onions! )

I recently hooked someone on a simple lima-bean recipe (he who absolutely HATES LIMA BEANS ... yeah right : )

I just simmer dried "BABY" (not the big fat ones YUK) lima beans with tons of chopped bacon, salt and pepper, toss in a little butter when almost ready to serve and simmer a little longer ... voila. Yummers! Simmer about an hour or so, ingredients to your taste. Just keep adding water as it simmers down. The beans breaking down in simmering will be the thickening agent. If you hate lima beans... those yukky green things, try these dried baby white ones... you'll be a convert!

CHEF MA

[Mark W. Tonner]

.... it cooks : ........ ........

Originally posted by Mark W. Tonner
.... it cooks : ........ ........

and you hairy you: Frying pans are NOT only for disciplinary use.
I'm great at multitasking and versatility in general. So there!

... and I don't use arsenic... I find it has a very unkindly negative impact on a body (I really don't enjoy to torture people,,, just like to kill 'em and get on with it (although there are some that ... well, never mind) ... however ... I sometimes unfortunately offer up burnt offerings... I'm SO easily distracted, you see. And I don't even have to duck the shrapnel and mortar. I fess up, no problem.

MA

[Mark W. Tonner]

Originally posted by Vets Dottir
I really don't enjoy to torture people,,, just like to kill 'em and get on with it

...me thinks if you ever offer up stew.....I'll decline the offer, after reading that line..... "Oh, so that's what the chunks of mystery meat are..."

Oh well, I guess the neigbourhood dogs and cats are safe.............. but the homeless in TO are a different story altogether me thinks.........

Originally posted by Mark W. Tonner
...me thinks if you ever offer up stew.....I'll decline the offer, after reading that line..... "Oh, so that's what the chunks of mystery meat are..."

Oh well, I guess the neigbourhood dogs and cats are safe.............. but the homeless in TO are a different story altogether me thinks.........

Nope ... the homeless are too unhealthy.

Originally posted by Vets Dottir
and you hairy you: Frying pans are...
.
(I really don't enjoy to torture people,,, just like to kill 'em and get on with it (although there are some that ... well, never mind) ...

MA

I don't torture with poison ... I just hit strategically with the frying pan to kill

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

Bad enough she knows where my F/S commando knives are, let alone my machete. At least the STEN is permanently deactivated, so I don't have to duck when I get home from work, just dodge...

And yeah, she can cook (as long as I keep an eye on the pot so the insides aren't burning black)...

The cats are still here too. Reckon they're too tough to eat at this point (13 years) anyway... but there's a hell of a lot of meat on them! Ma feeds the little buggers too well and too often.

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

Originally posted by Vets Dottir
Nope ... the homeless are too unhealthy.

MAN: (entering a shop) Um, excuse me, is this the undertaker's?
UNDERTAKER: Yup, that's right, what can I do for you, squire?
M: Um, well, I wonder if you can help me. My mother has just died and I'm not quite sure what I should do.
U: Ah, well, we can 'elp you. We deal with stiffs.
M: (aghast) Stiffs?
U: Yea. Now there's three things we can do with your mum. We can bury her, burn her, or dump her.
M: Dump her?
U: Dump her in the Thames.
M: (still aghast) What?
U: Oh, did you like her?
M: Yes!
U: Oh well, we won't dump her, then. Well, what do you think: burn her, or bury her?
M: Um, well, um, which would you recommend?
U: Well they're both nasty. If we burn her, she gets stuffed in the flames, crackle, crackle, crackle, which is a bit of a shock if she's not quite dead. But quick. And then you get a box of ashes, which you can pretend are hers.
M: (timidly) Oh.
U: Or, if you don't wanna fry her, you can bury her. And then she'll get eaten up by maggots and weevils, nibble, nibble, nibble, which isn't so hot if, as I said, she's not quite dead.
M: I see. Um. Well, I.. I.. I.. I'm not very sure. She's definitely dead.
U: Where is she?
M: In the sack.
U: Let's 'ave a look.

(FX: rustle of bag opening)

U: Umm, she looks quite young.
M: Yes, she was.
U: (over his shoulder) FRED!
F: (offstage) Yea!
U: I THINK WE'VE GOT AN EATER!
F: (offstage) I'll get the oven on!
M: Um, er...excuse me, um, are you... are you suggesting we should eat my mother?
(pause)
U: Yeah. Not raw, not raw. We cook her. She'd be delicious with a few french fries, a bit of stuffing. Delicious! (smacks his lips)
M: What! (he stammers)
(pause)
M: Actually, I do feel a bit peckish - No! NO, I can't!
U: Look, we'll eat your mum. Then, if you feel a bit guilty about it afterwards, we can dig a grave and you can throw up into it.
M: All right.

Originally posted by Geoff Winnington-Ball
Bad enough she knows where my F/S commando knives are, let alone my machete. At least the STEN is permanently deactivated, so I don't have to duck when I get home from work, just dodge...

And yeah, she can cook (as long as I keep an eye on the pot so the insides aren't burning black)...

The cats are still here too. Reckon they're too tough to eat at this point (13 years) anyway... but there's a hell of a lot of meat on them! Ma feeds the little buggers too well and too often.

Moan groan whine complain ... MASTER DODGER-JIFFEROO ... you're right, I DON'T need any old sten for the likes O' Pixie YOU ... therefore ducking isn't necessary. You're a pretty good DODGER though, I must grant you that praise as deserving ... but you're not good enough for the likes O' Little Miss Ma when my mind is set on sucess.

For dinner I'll do Lima-Dinna and watch you drool at the mouth-watering aromas and then I shall ... distract ... you while it burns so you'll go hungry ... again.

Carry On.

(what time will you be home for burnt-offrin's? )

I decided to post links and such about "RATIONS" WW2 and other wars ... I notice on this links page there is a link for one of my favorite sweets that MASTER SALESMAN BOB sent me from Oz ... ANZAC BISCUITS!!! (something to dunk in the BILLY TEA he also sent) (I still have some of that Billy Tea left

http://www.diggerhistory.info/pages-food/c-rations.htm

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

Originally posted by Vets Dottir
... I'm SO easily distracted, you see. And I don't even have to duck the shrapnel and mortar. I fess up, no problem.

SUNRAY AT HOME: "Karmen?"

(pause, no answer)

S: Karmen?

(pause)

Karmen: SUNRAY, who are you talking to?

S: Errrr.....

K: Who's 'Karmen'?

S: Errrr ....never mind.

Originally posted by Geoff Winnington-Ball

U: Look, we'll eat your mum. Then, if you feel a bit guilty about it afterwards, we can dig a grave and you can throw up into it.
M: All right.

Oh my dear dear Master Jifferoo ... terrible. Just terrible what you posted. Shame on you (thats a frying pan in my hand!)

Originally posted by Geoff Winnington-Ball
SUNRAY AT HOME: "Karmen?"

(pause, no answer)

S: Karmen?

(pause)

Karmen: SUNRAY, who are you talking to?

S: Errrr.....

K: Who's 'Karmen'?

S: Errrr ....never mind.

You'll know who I am, and so will I, by the sound of the frying pan connecting with your hairy head

Or perhaps other regions?

[Mark W. Tonner]

Oh Look! ..... MA getting Jifferoo's 'Din Din' ready........

[Jon Skagfeld]

Originally posted by Vets Dottir
Or perhaps other regions?

There's that damned versatile trio again!

Different day, different names.

SPF...(Schizoid pans, frying for the use of, qty 3, ubiquitous)

[Keith Webb]

Originally posted by Geoff Winnington-Ball
The cats are still here too. Reckon they're too tough to eat at this point (13 years) anyway... but there's a hell of a lot of meat on them! Ma feeds the little buggers too well and too often.

"A bit tough but full of flavour"

Hey, Keefy...this is a family site!

(Note to self...make no mention of Antipodean proclivities... )

Originally posted by Mark W. Tonner
Oh Look! ..... MA getting Jifferoo's 'Din Din' ready........

Careful you Old Fart ... I'm learning how to use Paint and Photo-Shop just for you (oh ok then, and others too, in here)

Originally posted by Keith Webb
"A bit tough but full of flavour"

...tastes like rabbit! In Vancouver I never really knew if I was buying rabbit or cat from Chinatown ... at least when I went out with Mom to shoot rabbit for dinner for us, I KNEW we were really eating rabbit. Baked in white wine who cares... rabbit/cat ... all tastes the same

[sorry Spikey and Tasha... you're totally safe with me and I'd never eat cat intentionally

[Jon Skagfeld]

Originally posted by Keith Webb
"A bit tough but full of flavour"

Hey, Keefy...this is a family site!

(Note to self...make no mention of Antipodean proclivities... )

International Foreign Office relations have been re-established 'twixt Canada and Australia after a Commonwealth discussion resulted in the two nations reaching a common agreement.

Babblespeak for Keith catching me out on the cat picture.

Cheers...I owe you one, Keefy!

Originally posted by Jon Skagfeld
International Foreign Office relations have been re-established 'twixt Canada and Australia after a Commonwealth discussion resulted in the two nations reaching a common agreement.

Babblespeak for Keith catching me out on the cat picture.

Cheers...I owe you one, Keefy!

I know babblespeak Jon ... I know you two connivers connived

BTW ... SPAM RECIPE COMPETIONS! How quaint
http://www.spam.com/es/es_ci.htm

[Tony Smith]

While researching young Private Smith,
Romance blossomed for Yappy and Jif,
If Sunray could just will it,
Karmen's skill with a skillet,
Could put new flavour in old Bully Beef.

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

I think I just pissed m'self....

[dougiebarder]

Originally posted by Geoff Winnington-Ball
I think I just pissed m'self....

I imagine it happen's at your age
Blame it on the cat-I do

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

Originally posted by dougiebarder
I imagine it happen's at your age
Blame it on the cat-I do

Works for me too (don't tell anyone, but I like using the litterbox too)... but while we're on the subject, who the hell would call their kid "Dougie". Scares me a bit...

[dougiebarder]

Mr and Mrs bader ?
And be carefull about using the cat's tray-they might get their own back by "using" something of your's-then you have to work out what,before you put your foot in it

[DaveCox]

Originally posted by Geoff Winnington-Ball
U: Look, we'll eat your mum. Then, if you feel a bit guilty about it afterwards, we can dig a grave and you can throw up into it.
M: All right.
[/i] [/B]

Sick , but then we are all being pestered into recycling nowadays so perhaps..............according to converted head-hunters in Borneo etc. it tastes like PORK, loads of fat and crackling for Yappy to enjoy.

( If Sunray doesn't post for a few days do we send for the Mounties?)LOL

As for knowing where FS knives are kept - mines under the matress 'cos our government has made it official that we can use 'reasonable force' if anyone breaks in to our homes! The machette is under the wife's side. The de-activated Colt .45 is in the sidetable...............

[Keith Webb]

Python, of course?