Strange Stuff about Morons

I get the strangest things in the email
My kids dad sent this to me tonite... and I thought you might all enjoy a good laugh or two ... from Ms. Yaps-A-lot Yappy (the laughter is on me )


Top 8 Morons of 2003

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual
leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's
lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had
barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered
that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, Launch the Bazooka!

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B?

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to
two different automated teller machines, where in the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw
money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!

A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash
drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the
counter himself for three hours to make some money until police showed up and grabbed
him.

5. DID I SAY THAT?

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control
himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words:
Give me all your money or I'll shoot, the man shouted, That's not what I said!

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING?

A man spoke frantically into the phone, My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart! Is this her first child? the doctor asked. No! the
man shouted, This is her husband!

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!

In Modesto, California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of
America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but
unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (Hellllllooooooo!)

8. THE GRAND FINALE:

Last summer, down on Lake Minocqua, located in upper Wisconsin, some Illinois folks on
vacation and new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they
couldn't get their brand new 22 ft boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every
maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make
it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was
wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The
engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and
pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up
choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place,
was the trailer

[JD Baillie]

Ah. The Darwin Award supplimental list.
Good show VD!

JD

Originally posted by JD Baillie
Ah. The Darwin Award supplimental list.
Good show VD!

JD

Oh JD, I dunno if I LIKE being called "VD"
APOLOGIZE NOW!
Scare's men off! Don't wanna die an old spinster yah know (word gets round)



I must be OK too, cause you don't see me in the list of MORONS do yah:P

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

Originally posted by Vets_Dottir
Oh JD, I dunno if I LIKE being called "VD"

I must be OK too, cause you don't see me in the list of MORONS do yah

You probably edited the list before posting, VD...

Originally posted by Geoff Winnington-Ball
You probably edited the list before posting, VD...

Oh Master SUNRAY? I am .... so sad. So sad for YOU, for what you just said.

Oh JOY! SUN shines so brightly... YAPS Little Miss Yappy ..... "MARRRRK-O ... now I'll need an even BIGGER pan for FRYDAY ... for you shall have COMPANY."

[JD Baillie]

Hmm.

I think in this case, VD, the only appropriate rejoinder is:


TAG, YOUR'RE IT !!!


Cheers
JD

[Mark W. Tonner]

Originally posted by Vets_Dottir
Oh Master SUNRAY? I am .... so sad. So sad for YOU, for what you just said.

Oh JOY! SUN shines so brightly... YAPS Little Miss Yappy ..... "MARRRRK-O ... now I'll need an even BIGGER pan for FRYDAY ... for you shall have COMPANY."

VD..??? : ....hmmmm....and company in the frying pan....I think your confused Little Miss...it's two men in a tub not pan..... ...by the way, what's with this 'VD' thing.........I think maybe your in the pan now......

Originally posted by JD Baillie
Hmm.

I think in this case, VD, the only appropriate rejoinder is:


TAG, YOUR'RE IT !!!


Cheers
JD

Ok JD ... NOT a problem.
JD short for JUST DUMB?

NO ... I take it back.
I LIKE you! Where DO you live???????????????????????????????????
I'll be in Vic on the 29 Dec and must confess,
I GREATLY look forward to meeting you. Shall we make it FRYDAY?

VD CALLING

[Mark W. Tonner]

Now that sounds scary :

Originally posted by Mark W. Tonner
VD..??? : ....hmmmm....and company in the frying pan....I think your confused Little Miss...it's two men in a tub not pan..... ...by the way, what's with this 'VD' thing.........I think maybe your in the pan now......

Hay, my man MARK-O, far out, I just found yet ANOTHER dinner guest! I'll have to change the original recipe I suppose... and I may as well have a DINNER PARTY ... invite ALL my WYMYN friends ... my mouth is watering already ...: (YOU "WISH" YOU PITIFUL TESTOSTERONE PRONE CREATURES)

FYI Marko ... I ain't in the pan, got my grip on the handle! FRYDAY is a cumin in, sing nu cuckoo, sing nu

[Mark W. Tonner]

AND WHAT PRAY TELL ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT LITTLE MISS.... :

Originally posted by Mark W. Tonner
AND WHAT PRAY TELL ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT LITTLE MISS.... :

Mark ... can you please ask your "Milady" if she picked up the DUCT TAPE. Just tell her I'll be calling in a while and she'll know what to do in prep for my call. Thank you.

Oh ... and you should know, "Milady" (yours) will be attending FRYDAYs FryFest.

Yappy

[JD Baillie]

VD,
If it is Just Dumb that might be a real good thing. Sanity and old army trucks not always a compatable state of being.

I am out of town until the 31st of Dec. Sorry to miss you.


JD

Originally posted by JD Baillie
VD,
If it is Just Dumb that might be a real good thing. Sanity and old army trucks not always a compatable state of being.

I am out of town until the 31st of Dec. Sorry to miss you.


JD

My family says I can stay as many FRYDAYS as I like I've invited them too, and my ex fiance will be there, his wife has "issues" and wants to add him to the menu, so she's bringing him along!
Her and i will talk "FRYING PANS" and we'll co-ordinate with all the mens 'Milady's".

Me and ALLof the Miladys ALL agree that we need a CMP FULL of MEAT TENDERIZER for all you tough guys Oh yah, they've all got the duct tape too.

[Mark W. Tonner]

Originally posted by Vets_Dottir
Mark ... can you please ask your "Milady" if she picked up the DUCT TAPE. Just tell her I'll be calling in a while and she'll know what to do in prep for my call. Thank you.

Oh ... and you should know, "Milady" (yours) will be attending FRYDAYs FryFest.

Yappy

You should know Little Miss that the one you refer to as "Milady" is NO LADY , she wore Combat Boots for 21 years.........and besides, She's French............

[JD Baillie]

Gotta love it when their mother really DID wear army boots eh?

JD

Originally posted by Mark W. Tonner
You should know Little Miss that the one you refer to as "Milady" is NO LADY , she wore Combat Boots for 21 years.........and besides, She's French............

Oh MARK ... I pity yore pore arse!
Any woman who can put on a pair of army boots is DEFINATELY a REAL lady! And you "Milady" is one that can kick your derriere til your ears open and you listen to wisdom. No? Ask her