Suntan Winning-Ball

[Keith Webb]

Not to be irreverent but I laugh out loud each time I see a charming Ballard word-mash like "that frightfully nice Mr. Raywinning-Suntonball"

I wonder whether someone would care to list all the variations in existence?

Perhaps we can invent some more permutations, like Whinnying-Ball or suchlike.

Any suggestions, Mr. Shoppingtown-Mall?

[Hanno Spoelstra]

Originally posted by Keith Webb
Not to be irreverent but I laugh out loud each time I see a charming Ballard word-mash like "that frightfully nice Mr. Raywinning-Suntonball"

Not to suggest the highly regarded Mr. Ballard hasn't got certain qualities (although they are normally vented elsewhere), but I presume you refer to Ballard's Sigs Clerk, the esteemed Mr. Richard "McStolly" Notton - always up for a word joke or two, as Mr. Binnington-Wall has found out to his own amusement (and that of many others, of course).

Go on Richard, give us your list of pet names!

H. (christened McSpool by the master of the palindrome)

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

McStolly selects his names through Divine Providence and/or dependence upon the Ethereal Wisdom of Veare. You will note that he also most likely recognizes that there's bugger-all one can do with "Notton" (as does Veare, no doubt)...

Carry on, gentlemen...

Originally posted by Hanno Spoelstra
Not to suggest the highly regarded Mr. Ballard hasn't got certain qualities (although they are normally vented elsewhere), but I presume you refer to Ballard's Sigs Clerk, the esteemed Mr. Richard "McStolly" Notton - always up for a word joke or two, as Mr. Binnington-Wall has found out to his own amusement (and that of many others, of course).

Well, perhaps for the benefit of the antipodean chums I should explain; although I thought it relatively easy to follow by deduction, perhaps its living upside down on the other side of the planet that causes a rush of blood to the brain.

Now, if I've done it right, we can refer to: http://www.mapleleafup.org/forums/sh...4021#post14021

You have L to R, young Rory Ballard, me in silly hat and hi-vis jacket as is required of the show sec, Dave Ballard of the DTB F15 Polsten himself, some grinning geezer with a bit of paper and Don Staples-Harris holding the grinning git's beer.

The sigs clerk bit comes about since the most hi-tech comms Mr Ballard has is a retractable ball point and I am continuously asked to send/receive emails and faxes for them, I see of late I have had emails actually directly addressed to them using my address, Hanno would know if I mentioned the French PU.

I have elsewhere noted the standard Ballard lectures, insurgent leaf and boiler suit moans especially, plus the hilarious exchanges between Ballard snr and jnr; the latter being a skiller joiner and hand-fashions bespoke ash vehicle bodies for the various restorations both professional and private.

Go on Richard, give us your list of pet names!

Frightfully easy really when you have all the syllables of Sunray and Winnington-Ball, plus the spoonerisms thereof to play with, Keith seems to have the idea, so, at the expense of Mr. Allsun-Braytonwinning we can have positively hours of fun.

Now the afore mentioned and esteemed leader of these hallowed chronicles did mention my large and playful moggie, Veare. A name derived for the Devonshire language which is littered with strange dialect words.

In full the Devonshire term is fuzzyveare - a term they use to describe any furry, or naturally velcro-like plant seeds. We have a weed that produces tiny velcro balls about 3mm across plus the horse and sweet chestnut encased in a spiky ball casing, all these would be described by a broad Devonshire farmer as a fuzzyveare and I suppose a Kiwi fruit also, if they'd ever seen one.

We had two black cat sisters, one small, fearless and with a kitten attitude into adult life until as we feared playing with the traffic proved to be overly distainful; and the larger more cautious animal that survives to this day and has been seen herein. Therefore, Fuzzy and Veare.

H. (christened McSpool by the master of the palindrome)

Stand in awe of the vertically unchallenged Dutchman's command of the English language, and, please convey my best felicitations to Mrs. McSpool, your two Bobbins and the little Reel in the making.

In my new found partnership and self-employ, involving the high-speed application of G12 chilled iron grit propelled by a great deal of Deutz diesel generated HP air to other people's rusty ess aitch one tee, a substantial amount of which is Ballard's stuff from the professional restoration work; leaves me personally attached to a fine dusting of the stuff that now requires washing off. Not only that, but leaving any in the bath tub to make myriad rusty spots overnight does not endear me with Mrs. Notton.

I have to get to it.

R.

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

Originally posted by FV623
In my new found partnership and self-employ, involving the high-speed application of G12 chilled iron grit propelled by a great deal of Deutz diesel generated HP air to other people's rusty ess aitch one tee, a substantial amount of which is Ballard's stuff from the professional restoration work; leaves me personally attached to a fine dusting of the stuff that now requires washing off. Not only that, but leaving any in the bath tub to make myriad rusty spots overnight does not endear me with Mrs. Notton.

I have to get to it.

R.

I'm sure that in the interests of keeping the Notton household relatively clean, Mrs. Notton would be happy to assist you in this endeavour, using Veare as a suitable fluffy scrub brush (you can feed either or both after the fact).

[Hanno Spoelstra]

Originally posted by FV623
The sigs clerk bit comes about since the most hi-tech comms Mr Ballard has is a retractable ball point and I am continuously asked to send/receive emails and faxes for them,

Sorry 'bout that, but it takes the Ballard Sigs Clerck (Mainland Europe) out of the process - which hopefully makes comms a bit more effective. How did these guys get by before they had sigs clerks? Or are you going to shock us by saying they omitted the era of the telephone as well?!?

I see of late I have had emails actually directly addressed to them using my address, Hanno would know if I mentioned the French PU.

I have no idea if you mentioned the French PU. The Ballard Sigs Clerck (Mainland Europe) did send M. Pierre Hochet an e-mail to ask him for the list of parts he needs for his PU but never received a reply. A pity, as I would have loved to continue my French-English/English-French translation services.

The Vertically Unchallenged Dutchman Named McSpool

Originally posted by Hanno Spoelstra
Sorry 'bout that, but it takes the Ballard Sigs Clerck (Mainland Europe) out of the process - which hopefully makes comms a bit more effective. How did these guys get by before they had sigs clerks? Or are you going to shock us by saying they omitted the era of the telephone as well?!?

If you ring Ballard, his sec, Mrs Ballard will answer and run down to the garage in the pouring rain to tell him who's on the phone; the cordless (via mains line) intercom remains operative but unused. The pay-as-you-go cellphone remains firmly off until Ballard wants to make a call, and only then when someone is on hand to tell him how to turn it on, don't bother to call it; "Its for my convenience not anybody else." Anyway when its known we're at a MV show people just ring me and ask to speak to Ballard, 9 occasions at Overlord 2004. When I asked why call me, they said "Oh, his phone is always off."

I have no idea if you mentioned the French PU. The Ballard Sigs Clerck (Mainland Europe) did send M. Pierre Hochet an e-mail to ask him for the list of parts he needs for his PU but never received a reply. A pity, as I would have loved to continue my French-English/English-French translation services.

I do mean the French "D-Day" PU you and Rory viewed, I have had several emails and faxes to deliver down there and replies to send. Plus some stuff for the Morris register.

The Vertically Unchallenged Dutchman Named McSpool

R.
-Blaster-
-Grubby-

Originally posted by Geoff Winnington-Ball
I'm sure that in the interests of keeping the Notton household relatively clean, Mrs. Notton would be happy to assist you in this endeavour, using Veare as a suitable fluffy scrub brush (you can feed either or both after the fact).

Now, Mr. Sunnington-Rayballwin, you may have overlooked one salient and pertinent fact however.

Whilst Veare might make a very good fluffy scrub-brush, the necessity of moving her 16lb mass around may prove more energetic than a work out with the gym dumbells and moreover there is another pertinent point to consider.

In my considered opinion, I think she would not take kindly to being utilised in this manner and so rather than being able to use the fluffy side, the most likely outcome would be the employment of her 18 personal and in-built scimitars on your nads much like sprinter's starting blocks.

Knowing that Veare has an initial acceleration from rest somewhat better than a McLaren F1 and by the judicious application of E=MC² we can arrive at a figure of pressure applied to each scimitar assuming cat = 16lb. It is fair to say that the resultant figure is several quantum orders above the tensile strength of human tissue.

This action, I would imagine, is to be throughly avoided since it would most definitely bring tears to your eyes and possibly cause such a sharp intake of breath that the size of your personal abloutions chamber may suddenly become much smaller owing to the vacuum so occasioned causing a somewhat worrying implosion.

R.

[Keith Webb]

Ahhh the mental image of Veare's grapple for scrotal traction was too much for me! Please cease or I'll choke laughing!!

BTW, not enough people are thinking of new variations on the Sunburn Winning-Ray theme.

[Bob Moseley (RIP)]

Hi Keefy
Once again our great Oz minds are thinking alike. I recently started looking through the threads and picked up a few but it needs a lot of research. Secondly I also agree with you that this thread needs to be redirected onto itsyour original track. Boy don't these red-herring side tracks take over. Anyway here are a few to start with.

Actually this could be a good job for you Kartmann, collate all the variations on a master list. And once we've finished with Ball Ball Spin Win Ton Sun we can carry on with the Big H.

Ball-Spinning
Ballray-Suntonwinning
G. Win Spinnington Ball
Spinny Ball
Winningray-Suntonball
Ball Ball Spin Win Ton Sun

Bob

PS - What is his real name?

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

Originally posted by Bob Moseley
Hi Keefy
Once again our great Oz minds are thinking alike. I recently started looking through the threads and picked up a few but it needs a lot of research. Secondly I also agree with you that this thread needs to be redirected onto itsyour original track. Boy don't these red-herring side tracks take over. Anyway here are a few to start with.

Actually this could be a good job for you Kartmann, collate all the variations on a master list. And once we've finished with Ball Ball Spin Win Ton Sun we can carry on with the Big H.

Ball-Spinning
Ballray-Suntonwinning
G. Win Spinnington Ball
Spinny Ball
Winningray-Suntonball
Ball Ball Spin Win Ton Sun

Bob

PS - What is his real name?

After all this, even I can't remember anymore...

[Keith Webb]

Was something along the lines of
Tarquin Fintimwhimbimlimbimbusstopf'tangf'tangolebiscuitba rrel from memory. Or perhaps that was Kevin Philips-Bong.
Perhaps there is a Hong-Kong relative - Jiflee Wonton-borr (say with appropriate accent). Or Sunlay for short.

[Tony Smith]

James James Morrison Morrison Wetherbee George Dupree?

Originally posted by Keith Webb
Or Sunlay for short.

Ahso.


Only for the Brits I'm afraid. . . . . . . . . .

"Where's y'r bin?"

"Ah bin Honkong"

"No. Where's y'r WHEELY bin?"

"Yah, ah WEELY, WEELY bin Honkong".

R.

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

Originally posted by Keith Webb
Or Sunlay for short.

These days, pretty much only when I pay for it...

Originally posted by Keith Webb
Or Sunlay for short.

Said Sunray =

These days, pretty much only when I pay for it...

Says Eh : : :

[Pete Ashby]

Firstly Mr Winnington-Ball I must apologise,

I really thought I was above all this bandage you have had to suffer, a fine old English name like Winnington-Ball should receive the honour it deservers.

However urged on by those naughty Colonials I had a look into your family tree and came up with the following remote ancestors.

I have to beg your forbearance in such foibles………. nay such liberties with your profound signifier, still I tarry unnecessarily….. to book I found the following:

Mr Ffoeg Townning-Bainll (Welsh boarders sheep farmer who in 1700’s was given the choice of a custodial sentence or transportation to the Dominions, crime not recorded, but involved sheep)

Mr Geoffrey Twinningon-Allb (diarist who fell foul of the church in 1600’s and had to beat a hasty retreat to the Americas, it is rumoured that he left diaries behind under a synonym not known)

I found this dip into your genealogy most efficacious after a weeks endeavour to earn a crust at my lectern.

Please do not hesitate to advise if I can be of further assistance

Yours truly,

Etep Hasby

[Geoff Winnington-Ball (RIP)]

Dear Mr. Hasby,

We thank you for your contribution to this thread, dated 29 October 04. We do so appreciate your input on matters of State whenever the mood strikes you.

The two gentlemen you note in your letter appear not to be directly related, although rumours stand that at least one of them might be "distantly" related to the Spencer side of Sir Winston's family, abeit quietly. One of our family cats knows the truth, but she isn't saying, at least not since I removed and refashioned my tinfoil beanie (things haven't been the same with me since).

In the interim, we shall drive on regardless and do our best to represent Queen & Country as we have in the past. Please carry on in your most excellent endeavours as well sir, and pass our warm regards to the rest of the Oxford Crew.

Yours sincerely,

Yerffoeg Llab-Notgininniw

PS: There might be just a trace of Welsh in our heritage, not sure yet; an immediate analysis of blood-alcohol content seems to indicate a preponderance of fine, Scottish Highland ... er... blood. We will advise as opportunity presents itself.

PPS: I should advise that during a recent motor through the hill country of northern Wales, the sheep in the valleys alongside the road seemed to be saying "Daaaa-d. Daaaa-d". I'm sure it was just a case of mistaken identity.

[Rod Diery]

I find myself sinking deeper and deeper towards the intellectual level of my fellow contributors to this forum with this...................

That signal clerk named Notton
Has a way with words that's spot on
But if he keeps giving all
To Geoff Winnington-Ball
He may find his presence here Verbotten

(With apologies to lovers of the limerick)

[Keith Webb]

Bloody good one there, Rod
Congrats!
Let's see what our pals across the waves can come up with.

[Alex Blair (RIP)]

Originally posted by Keith Webb
Bloody good one there, Rod
Congrats!
Let's see what our pals across the waves can come up with.

Limmerick...???
Winnington-Ball...???
HHHHhhhhmmmmmmmmmm.....

A mathamatition named Winnington-Ball...
Had a hexahendrical ball
The cube of its weight
It's lenth...plus eight...
Was two fifths of five eighths
Of Fu*k all.............