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I found this and figured a little more laughter about getting older would be nice
![]() * Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late. ~ Benjamin Franklin * Many foxes grow gray but few grow good. ~ Benjamin Franklin * Many people die at twenty five and aren't buried until they are seventy five. ~ Benjamin Franklin * He is so old that his blood type was discontinued. ~ Bill Dana * A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ''At my age, I don't even buy green bananas." ~ Claude D. Pepper * One of the many things nobody ever tells you about middle age is that it's such a nice change from being young. ~ Dorothy Canfield Fisher * A man ninety years old was asked to what he attributed his longevity. I reckon, he said, with a twinkle in his eye, it because most nights I went to bed and slept when I should have sat up and worried. ~ Dorothea Kent * Middle age is when a guy keeps turning off lights for economical rather than romantic reasons. ~ Eli Cass * No man knows he is young while he is young. ~ G. K. Chesterton * By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it. ~ George Burns * Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up. ~ George Burns * I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it. ~ George Burns * I smoke 10 to 15 cigars a day, at my age I have to hold on to something. ~ George Burns * If you live to the age of a hundred you have it made because very few people die past the age of a hundred. ~ George Burns * Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere. ~ George Burns * Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. ~ George Burns * Old age is like flying through a storm. Once you're aboard, there's nothing you can do. ~ Golda Meir * Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough. ~ Groucho Marx * I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up. ~ Harry Hershfield * I hope I never get so old I get religious. ~ Ingmar Bergman * Every time I think that I'm getting old, and gradually going to the grave, something else happens. ~ Lillian Carter * The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~ Lucille Ball * Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternatives. ~ Maurice Chevalier * At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind. ~ Rodney Dangerfield * I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. ~ Rodney Dangerfield * The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles. ~ Sigmund Z. Engel * Whenever a man's friends begin to compliment him about looking young, he may be sure that they think he is growing old. ~ Washington Irving ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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