Some Funnies

[Alex Blair (RIP)]

We could all use these..

http://www.youtube.com/v/Qrpq5A-KAoA

[motto]

All those variations and no CMP, 42 Jeep or Weapons Carrier look alike.

Got to be an opening there for somebody?

David

[Phil Waterman]

How about mounting one of those inflatable Sherman decoys they made, on a cart? Inflate it part with helium and you could have a "0" added weight.

Cheers Phil

[Darrell Zinck]

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old,
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.


COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.


JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.


WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

**** And the WINNER is... ****

FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything


regards
Darrell

[Alex Blair (RIP)]

A motorcycle cop was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well; however, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch. Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors hadn't told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable. Taped firmly across his pubic hair and private parts were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily --- if at all. Written on the tape in large black letters was the sentence, 'Get well soon . from the nurse in the Jeep you pulled over last week.'

[lynx42]

Buttercups and Golf balls...

Towards the end of the golf course, Tom hit his ball into the woods and
found it in a patch of pretty
yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up
thrashing just about every buttercup
in the patch..

All of a sudden . . .. POOF!!

In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said, "I'm
Mother Nature!"

"Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups?" Just for doing
what you have done,
you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life; better
still, you won't have any butter
for your toast for the rest of your life .. As a matter of fact, you'll
never have any butter for anything the
rest of your life!"

Then POOF! . . . she was gone!

After Tom recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, "Fred, where
are you?"

Fred yells back, "I'm over here in the clump of pussy willows."


Tom shouts back, 'DON'T SWING, Fred; FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SWING!'

[Alex Blair (RIP)]

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he'd make a deal with his son: 'You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car.'

The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks his father said, 'Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut.

The boy said, 'You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair ~ ~ ~ and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.'


You're going to love Dad's reply:






'Did you also notice that they all walked
everywhere they went?'