Some Funnies

[colin jones]

A man rang 000 or 911 and said
I think my wife's dead!
What makes you think that said the opperator.
Well the sex is the same,
but the dishes are piling up!

[Keith Webb]

Seen before but worth reinforcing:



Source

[aj.lec]

Cannibal story

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu...
Tourist: $5.00
Broiled Missionary: $7.00
Fried Explorer: $9.00
Freshly Baked: Politicians all: Labor Party, Liberals/Nationals, Democrats or Greens : $150.00
The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, "Why such a huge price difference for the Politicians?"
The cook replied, "Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full of shit, it takes all morning!"

[Howard]

Finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help.
She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door.
Magically it opens.
"That's so clever," the woman gasps. "How did you do it?"
"Easy," replies the man. "These are my khakis".

[Keith Webb]

Originally Posted by howard

finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help.
She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door.
Magically it opens.
"that's so clever," the woman gasps. "how did you do it?"
"easy," replies the man. "these are my khakis".

groannnnn!!!!!

[Hanno Spoelstra]

Originally Posted by Howard

Finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help.
She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door.
Magically it opens.
"That's so clever," the woman gasps. "How did you do it?"
"Easy," replies the man. "These are my khakis".

I don't get it?

Hanno

[Keith Webb]

Originally Posted by Hanno Spoelstra

I don't get it?

Hanno

Khakis = car keys. It's in the pronunciation.

[Hanno Spoelstra]

Originally Posted by Keith Webb

Khakis = car keys. It's in the pronunciation.

Ah yes, that was to be expected

H.

[Hanno Spoelstra]

Originally Posted by chopper

What do Kate Middleton and Osama Bin Laden have in common?
Last Sunday they both had there back doors smashed in
and had a bloke from the navy shoot in there faces

But I do get this one and would like to ask you not to cross the thin line between funny and vulgar. This is a family forum, so please watch your langauge - thank you!

Hanno