Aussie Summer

[Hanno Spoelstra]

Courtesy of Doug Greville:

"You know you're in an Australian Summer when:-

a. The best parking space is determined by shade instead of distance

b. Hot water comes out of both taps.

c. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

d. The temperature drops below 35c and you feel a little chilly.

e. You discover that in February it only takes two fingers to steer your car.

f. You discover that you can get sunburnt through your car window.

g. You develop a fear of metal car door handles.

h. You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30am.

i. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

j. You realise that asphalt has a liquid state.

k. Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to prevent them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

l. The cows are giving evaporated milk.

m. The trees are whistling for the dogs.

n. While walking back barefoot to your car from the beach, you do a tightrope act on the white lines in the car park.

o. You catch a cold from having the air-con full blast while you sleep during the night.

p. You learn that David Jones isn't a department store, it’s a temple to worship air-conditioning"