WD-40....

[Howard]

We own an old house built in the early 1920's and the bedroom door hinges used to squeal like a pig whenever you opened/closed the door. It never worried me, but it annoyed the snot out of Mrs H...
I think what realy annoyed her was that I never got around to lubing the hinges.
One night Mrs H was sleeping when I got home late from work close to midnight and I was angry at being so late home. So when I opened the bedroom door and the hinges squealed this woke up Mrs H. What does she say to me? Does she say "Hi Darling", or "Bad day Love?", or "Glad to be home Sweetie?". No. She says (in THAT tone of voice) "When will you oil that F@*^~ hinge?!"
So even more fired up & without saying a word I returned out to the old Mazda, opened the boot & retreived the can of WD-40. This I applied to the hinges, stopping the noises immediatley. Job done, do you know what Mrs H says to me? "That s~#@ stinks! How long is that going to stink for?"

Women... Can't live with them, pass the beer nuts.