How to humiliate yourself in front of a VC Holder

[Keith Burke]

I have had the honour and the pleasure of knowing two holders of the Victoria Cross.

Today I will tell you of my first meeting with one of them, Colonel Fred Tilston.
This was before my Reg Force Career. I was still in the militia at the time and had just recently transferred into the Essex and Kent Scottish Regiment. The occasion was the first formal parade I was to attend wearing my new Ceremonials (I will tell you about the other incident of that day regarding my kilt, my motorcycle, and a constable, another time).

During the parade I noticed that the Honourary Colonel was not wearing a kilt, as was everyone else in the regiment. He was wearing trews and for some reason this struck me as disrespectful. Everyone “else” was wearing a kilt and who was this old guy not to!
After the parade, in the Mess, I was presented to the Colonel as the new Master Corporal who had just transferred in. I had already decided that I didn’t like this officer who obviously was too good to wear the kilt of his own regiment, and used silent contempt while exchanging pleasantries with him. He seemed amused by this. Of course that started to get my goat so I became more rude and my contempt was no longer exactly silent. The worse I got, the more the Colonel seemed to be amused, and indeed to be enjoying himself.

After this went on for some minutes we were standing in silence and I did what many of us do in such situations, I checked out his rack. There was the usual. CD with a pile of bars, 39/45 Star, France and Germany Star etc. And then at the very end a single plain ribbon, with plain looking Maltese cross. It took me a moment to realize what it was, and then my brain, belatedly, kicked into high gear. As close as I can recreate the effect of the moment after all these years, my thought process was: That’s a VC! Tilston …Tilston…. Tilston… VC… .Tilston… OMG Major Fredrick Tilston, the Hochwald, lost both legs! THATS why the trews.

What my outside voice came out with was: Jesus <censored> <censored> THAT’S THE VICTORIA <censored> CROSS! And YOUR Fred Tilston, and you’ve got no legs!

His response was beyond classic. Barely able to contain his mirth as I turned various shades of purple and red he replied: Why YES MCpl, I AM!

What can one do from the depths of such humiliation and embarrassment? Right there in the Mess I snapped my heels together in the best Prussian manner stood at attention and said: Sir, can I buy you a drink? He affirmed this would be acceptable, and for the rest of the night he paid not for a single thing, with myself his self appointed batman. It was a long long time before I was able to live that one down.

He was a great man, and is missed by all know knew him. Colonel Tilston passed away in 1992.