Quite so, quite so, a grand effort indeed and observational acumen in the class of excellence rarely seen since the retirement of Constance Babington-Smith.

It is quite apparent that the electronic media with its multitudinous possibilities and propensity for innocent mis-keying is having a detrimental effect here as can now be so commonly the case with the lamented demise of polite and proper communication conveyance utilising the most acceptable liquid marking fluid being applied by a well fashioned pen on heavyweight bond material to convey the very essence of the writer's person.

However, and notwithstanding the foregoing, the question of spoken English remains. It has come to my attention that there remains a propensity amongst those people of the North-North American, or perhaps North², colonial subjects to persist with the notion of substituting the letter "O" for a quiet "U".

Can we be quite clear that the word "about" for instance means, on the subject of, or movement within a particular area, and as such is entirely different to "a boot" which is a reference to an item of footwear. Similarly the floating marine implement employed to mark a channel or hazard is definitely not a "boo-ie" but should be articulated in an identical, and singular, manner as in the Boy's AT rifle for instance.

We trust, therefore, in these parts there is no tendency to render the correct term for a tree limb as a "boo" and so it proves the accurate rendering of the vowel combination can be attained.

In a further assault on the genteel ear, we hear from these Northern Hemisphere colonies the reference to a non-ferrous metal as "alloo-min-um" and in addition the use of "jag-warre" to describe a large and dangerous feline animal or the marque of a prestigious motor carriage.

It just will not do; not do at all.

Turning our attentions to the Southern Hemisphere for a moment, it is with some disappointment our sensibility and decorum is upset by the material emanating from New Zealand and presented to our television receivers. I refer to the officers empowered to enforce the traffic laws on that country's motorway network, and the female ones in particular.

These lady officers would seem to have the propensity and capability to insert "ay", as in hay with the "H" missing, at many and various points in just one sentence but most confusingly without any upwards inflection, or pause even, to suggest a question as may be expected in customary usage where the expression comes at the end. Perhaps we can expect sub-titles to be added shortly to assist us with the comprehension.

I fear that myself together with my good friend and gentleman from Oxford may well be facing what proves to be a Sisyphean task to promulgate the correct, accurate and appropriate use of The Queen's English.

I remain your humble and obedient servant.

R.