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Originally posted by Geoff Winnington-Ball
I'm afraid that won't quite do it, old chap. Y'see, the good ones can conjure up more by rote. I'm afraid you're buggered, but what the hell, you're probably a fine challenge for Milady. 
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Hmmmmm, quite so. I'm minded Veare is a
black cat too.
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A pain in the arse, I know. You've done the right diagnostics; the trouble is either in the main cable pair from the central office to the remote terminal ('street cabinet') or in the cable pair from the latter to your house. It sounds like an intermittent ground to me.
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Now the BT man arrived and spotted the fault immediately from the outside. The short pair coming in from the o/head termination on the house to the main socket was corroded through, apparently this plain twin, hard-drawn copper and PVC insulated was last used 35 years ago. I have a sample and it falls apart just looking at it.
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Keep us posted old man, and our regards to Al and the lads. Glad to hear Rory is keeping the Old Guy on his toes... 
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I shall see Al shortly as he is my "new" business partner, we have a few jobs going on, a significant proportion of which is for the Old Guy; young Rory has a couple of months work elsewhere doing a house final fit carpentry.
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If you want any Canadian maple leaves, you'd better speak up now before they're all gone....
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Yes, I'm going to need one to stick somewhare in Ballard's truck now we're into the the leaf insurgent season. He has already recounted the opening battles with the advance guards waiting outside the garage door to blow in. As he does.
Can't hang about here, the
real time is gone 07:00 and we have grit to blast.
R.