[lynx42]

A CATTLE DOG STORY

Julia Gillard called Kevin Rudd into her office one day and said "Kevin, I have a
great idea! We are going to go all out to win the country voters"..

"Good idea Leader, how will we go about it"? said Kevin.

"Well", said Gillard, "we get ourselves one of those Driaza Bone coats, some RM
Williams boots, a stick and an Akubra hat. Oh, and a blue cattle dog. Then we'll
really look the part. We'll go to a typical old outback country pub, we'll show we
really enjoy the bush".

"Right" said Kevin.

Days later, all kitted out and with the requisite blue heeler, they set off from
Canberra in a westerly direction. Eventually they arrived at just the place they
were looking for and found a typical outback pub. They walked in with the dog and
up to the bar.

"G'day mate", said Gillard to the bartender, "two middies of your best beer".

"Good afternoon Leader", said the bartender, "two middies of our best coming up".

Rudd and Gillard stood leaning on the bar drinking their beer and chatting, nodding
now and again to whoever came into the bar for a drink. The dog lay quietly at
their feet.

All of a sudden, the door from the adjacent bar opened and in came a grizzled old
stockman, complete with stock whip. He walked up to the cattle dog, lifted its tail
with the whip and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the
other bar. A few moments later in came another old stockman with his whip. He
walked up to the dog and lifted its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and
went back to the other bar.

Over the course of the next hour or so another four or five stockmen came in and
lifted the dog's tail and went away looking puzzled.

Eventually, Rudd and Gillard could stand it no longer and called the barman over.

"Tell me" said Rudd, "why did all those old stockmen come in and look under the
dog's tail like that? Is it an old outback custom?"

"Strewth no", said the barman. "Someone told 'em there was a cattle dog in the bar
with two arseholes"...